New balance

“A father is someone you look up to no matter how tall you grow.”

Today would have been my Dad's 80th birthday. It's been a while since I've posted. A lot has happened in the past few months and I've been adjusting to a new way of life – one without my Dad in it. I know he's with me in spirit, of course, but he's passed on from this life and the reality of that has hit hard.

Oddly enough, I think I've spent much of my life preparing for this moment. I was always worried about him for as long as I can remember. Now that he's gone, I realize how much I wish I hadn’t spent so much time worrying. But here we are, and now those worries have shifted. These days, my focus is on supporting my Mom and making sure my family gets the help they need to cope. I understand that we all have our own paths to healing, and everyone will need to find the help they need in their own time and on their own terms.

My Dad was a remarkable man; a Navy veteran, an electronics buff, and a talented musician. He had a mischievous twinkle in his eye and a maverick spirit, always marching to the beat of his own drum, often without even realizing it. One of his quirks was his love for New Balance sneakers. He wore them to virtually every occasion – weddings, funerals, you name it. He always had a couple of pairs in rotation. It felt fitting that my brothers and I honored him by wearing New Balance sneakers at his services, sending him off in style.

I miss my Dad a lot, but I take comfort in knowing he’s on his own journey now. Today, especially, he’s on my mind, though he always is. My Dad, the maverick. And here I am, taking things day by day, trying to find my own new balance.